doing a lil self observing while i take a study break in the library and just wanted to point out that at this time last year i was finishing up my first semester of college, i spent most of my time in my dorm room too afraid to go out and enjoy myself because of an unhealthy relationship, i devoted more than half of my time to working out to distract myself from how unhappy i was, not because it made me feel good. my friends distanced themselves from me because i had forgotten how to be a friend myself. i finished the semester with mediocre grades, i begged my dad to let me transfer schools, i was beginning to question my individuality and self worth, i allowed someone else to make me feel like less of a person and undeserving of love, and i was overall very unhappy. today, i sit amongst several friends of mine who love me endlessly and have shown nothing but infinite amounts of love and support on my best and worst days. i work my ass off in school and i see my dedication paying off, i have learned how to love being on my own again, i workout when i feel like it for the purpose of feeling good, not looking good. i feel free to be who i am, and i don’t feel ashamed for not knowing exactly who that might be yet. i’m experimenting, and i don’t feel the slightest ounce of guilt for it. i don’t let boys disrespect or talk down to me because i know my self worth and i know damn well i’m too good for that. almost not a day goes by where i don’t laugh so hard it hurts, i’ve started to sing in the shower again, i go to class everyday and i’m excited to learn. i’ve learned that few things are better than wine drunk, watching the sunset in silence with the company of the ones you love is an indescribable feeling, that bad times don’t ever last forever, your mistakes do not define you, and being confident in who you are is an extremely admirable characteristic. i’m happy because i stopped holding myself back in fear of disappointing people. crazy what 365 days can teach you.
whatweknownwhatwefeel